What Happens When You Lay Your Heart Out

You know that moment when your heart spills over with gratitude and love and just having that feeling where your heart is flooded and over flowing with joy? This happened to me around 18 hours after I wrote my last post about the tugging that was going on in my soul. If you want to catch up on what I’m talking about, you better read it up here.

Soon after I wrote that post I had a comment on my blog Facebook page saying that this article hit close to home because her parents were getting a divorce as well. Almost immediately after reading that comment I felt another tug to reach out to her– and I’m so glad that I did. I messaged her and let her know that I know what she’s going through and if she ever needed any advice or someone to listen to her and understand what she was going through, that I was here for her and praying for her.

She messaged back and was so grateful for my reaching out and automatically spilled a little bit of what she was going through, and I could relate with it all.

I was so hesitant to write that last blog post because I was scared of the feedback I was going to get. However, God knew exactly what was going to happen. He knew that my new found friend needed someone to help her through her process of getting to the “new normal” that happens when your family goes through a situation like divorce. The fact that I was able to connect with someone who is needing guidance and someone to just know what they are going through was completely worth all of the nerves of writing the post.

I am so grateful and overflowing with joy that the Lord appointed me to be able to reach someone like her, and hopefully many more.

I also want to thank you all for your kind words of encouragement about my last post. It means so much to have positive reinforcement when you put your heart on the line for all others to read about.

With that being said, I finally feel like the Lord is showing me more of the direction of who I really am now. As you recall, I wrote a post awhile ago about feeling lost. Not knowing who I was besides a wife and a working woman. I’m getting closer to discovering who my true being is at this point in my life, and maybe you’ll see that throughout my blog posts from now on. You may see some changes, you may not. I’m still waiting for more direction from Him.

Stay posted..

Love to all-Nicole

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The Tug on Your Soul

Have you ever experienced that tug in your soul when you know that the Lord is wanting you to do something? Its a tug that overwhelms and beckons your soul to follow the order, but yet you find yourself wrestling against yourself and Him. You say, “no I’m not going to do this, what if I make a fool out of myself?” Eventually the tug becomes so strong that you have no choice but to throw your hands in the air give the situation to God and trust that this is what He is wanting you to do.

I’ve been wrestling this with Him for a couple weeks now. I’ve been putting off this blog because I didn’t want to “lose” my following, or worse yet.. reveal who I really was. Finally, what pushed me over the edge was reading the same story of another blogger that I look up to. Her story and mine kind of follow the same path.

I’ve shared bits and pieces of my faith journey and my relationship with the Lord. So, like my fellow blogger I’m going to recap it all in one post in hopes that it may bring glory to God.

I grew up going to Church and attending Sunday school. It was something you did in my community. You woke up on Sunday went to Church and scrambled out of the Church when it was done in fear that you might have spent too much time there. Soon I reached High School and started to stray, or rather was feeling more and more empty. I started living for myself. I had 2 serious boyfriends throughout High School, neither of which I should have been in relationships with. I was in both of those relationships to please myself and to make myself feel better about what I didn’t have.

I looked for love where ever I could find it. I wore too tight of clothing and was begging for attention in any way that I could get it.

Moving on to college, I didn’t think I needed God at all. I thought I had life figured out. I continued to be wreckless with searching for attention in any way that I could get it. I started a relationship with a guy from back home. We started dating and after less than a month of being together he dumped me because I found out he was cheating on me. I gave up on men after him.

Fast forward a few months and I randomly walked by a handsome guy in a parking lot. It turns out that my best friend from High School had class with him. Next thing I knew, we were chatting and going on our first date. Neither of us were expecting more than a couple dates. We were reckless together. Neither of us were living for the Lord and both of us were extremely selfish. We continued to date, but things progressively got better.

Moving on to that next winter my life was choked to a complete stop. Time literally seemed to stand still as my parents called us children into the living room and broke the news that they would be getting a divorce. I cried for days. I went to bed crying, I woke up crying. This was life changing in two ways for me. 1. Obviously my parents would no longer be together 2. I had no where to go but to God.

I prayed constantly after that afternoon that they told us. I prayed that God would take away my family’s pain and that something good come out of it. I’ve never prayed so hard in my entire life. –I hadn’t really been to Church in close to 6 months.

After those awful first couple weeks of the divorce, God started working. My then boyfriend, who is now my husband Andrew started taking me to Church with him. I started to realize there was more to Church then just sitting in a pew and listening to what the Priest had to say. I realized that this is about faith and having a relationship with Christ. However, I still didn’t really understand it.

That fall I started my junior year of college. The large college Ministry that was active on campus was having their Kick-Off for the year one night on central campus. I wasn’t going to go because I wasn’t into that. But something changed my mind that night. I stayed for their Kick-Off and worshiped the Lord with 1,000 of my classmates. I signed up for a Bible Study just because my good friend signed up for one.

The Lord continued to work in my life and show me how great His grace is, and how I didn’t have to earn my way to Heaven. I loved going to Bible Study and getting to know the Lord. I was so in awe of it all that I signed up to go to the Fall Retreat that the Ministry had. Over 700 students attended that conference and we worshiped God together in a tent at campground. I really started to understand what having a relationship with Christ meant and how He really has your whole life under control. On the 2nd night of the retreat, I gave my life to Christ. It was such a life altering moment. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders to not have to carry the burden of so many empty feelings anymore. Christ loves me unconditionally, even if I didn’t love myself and even if my parents were divorced.

My life changed dramatically after that night of giving my life up to Christ. I finally had a relationship with the Lord. I finally understood that I had no control over anything in this life. All that I had to do is, 1. Love the Lord with all my heart, soul, and mind. 2. Love my neighbor. I decided to get Baptized in April of 2014. (Not only did I, but my Dad and Brother have as well, GOD IS SO GOOD!)

After surrendering myself to Him, things finally started to go right in my life, and they have continued to do so. Andrew and I’s relationship did a complete 180. Through my excitement of getting to know Christ, it sparked Andrew’s as well. We started having Bible Study together. We started living for Christ above all things, even each other. It has made our relationship 300x as strong as it ever was.  We are walking through life, hand in hand with our eyes on the Lord. We have been blessed beyond belief.

I felt like God was tugging at my soul to write this so that it might make a difference in someone’s life. This post is in His hands now.

Love to all-Nicole

5 Reasons You Should Celebrate the Small Things

  Lately it seems as though life has been consumed by working, paying bills and just trying to survive until the weekend. We get up, go to work, come home, make supper, do laundry, pay bills, watch tv, go to bed and start all over the next day. It gets monotonous. I’ve decided to pep […]

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How Markets Effect Farmers

You know those days where it’s so humid and hot that your sweat seems to sweat? Or your hair doubles in size and looks like you’ve got an afro from the 70’s? (Or is the afro part just my crazy, curly hair?) We’ve had a few of those days recently and I am so ready […]

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Iowa State Fair Blues

Hey all! It’s been a crazy couple weeks on the home front. Last weekend was my birthday and I felt absolutely loved and spoiled by all of my favorite people. It was by far my best birthday yet. Since it was my birthday I took the day off from work and me and Andrew (The […]

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