What About Pre-Marital Sex?

God has been nudging me again.

I want to fight him so badly on this one. I want to recoil and ask,”But what will everyone think of me?” I mean..my family.. My grandparents read this blog. I will be so embarrassed…

I never would’ve thought in a million years I would be publicly talking about this. This is such a private part of anyone’s life, and a topic that is always avoided.

Pre-marital sex…

I give you permission to exit out of your browser. You might never come back to this blog again because I offended you. 3 years ago, I would’ve done those things. I would’ve closed out and said, “Eh, who cares… I’m going to do what I want”.

But for those of you that are open minded continue on.

I had pre-marital sex.

I was in high school and made horrible decisions. I was looking for any and all kinds of attention. I put my self worth in men’s physical attraction to me. It made me feel “loved” and wanted.

I didn’t know Jesus at this time of my life.

I didn’t know that Jesus held the ultimate love for me. I didn’t know that Jesus desired me and wanted me. He wanted me to follow him, to honor his Father.

I wish with all of my heart I could take my virginity back to the night I got married. I wish that Andrew could have all of me, but he can’t because I was selfish and gave part of me away to whom I had sex with.

In Mathew 19:4-6 it says that when a man leaves his parents and is joined with his wife that they become one flesh. Meaning.. When they get married. That’s when a man leaves his father and mother.

Notice how it doesn’t say when the man is still under his parents. That doesn’t mean literally, it means that he is not married yet. It doesn’t say, if you like a person a lot and are really close to this person, it’s okay to have sex. Sex in the Bible is continually talked about in relation to marriage.

Hebrews 13:4 says this, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the sexually immoral.”

1st Thessalonians 4;3-5, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality, that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable not in passionate lust like the heathen who do not know God.”

I was a heathen.. I did not know God. But now I do, and I’ve been forgiven by God’s grace for stealing from my husband. I stole part of me away from my husband that he couldn’t have all of me.

All of the “rules” that are listed in the Bible aren’t listed so that God can watch us fail time and time again to obey these rules. He established these guidelines to guard our hearts.

By having sex before marriage with someone I became “one” with them. I gave them a piece of me. A pastor once described it as this. We were both Velcro, and when we went our separate ways, my Velcro stuck with him and didn’t return with me.

I cheated my husband from having all of me. There are pieces of me missing from our relationship because I was selfish, insecure, and confused about love.

So you’re asking yourself now.. “Why should I listen to her?” I would’ve asked that same question. I probably would’ve closed the web page and never came back.

So here’s why…

God loves you so much that he puts these guidelines in front of us to guard our hearts. Sex was intended for marriage, and marriage only. He knows sex before marriage is messy. It creates a false sense of love. It makes things complicated. It creates a connection that is hard to be broken. It takes away a piece of you and you can’t ever get that piece back.

Imagine what it would be like if you remained a virgin your entire life until your wedding night? Imagine being able to give your spouse ALL of you, rather than just.. most like I did.

Imagine you waited and you were loved for all that you are, your quirks, your personality.. Every part of you. Imagine being so secure in that love that sex is a celebration of God and each other on your wedding night.

Here’s my plea for you. If you aren’t a Christian and don’t follow the Bible.. Consider waiting for your future spouse, that they might get the treat and honor of having all of you.

If you are a Christian and are fighting the temptation. Work hard and be diligent in The Lord. He offers the ultimate love. He offers these words of encouragement.

1st Corinthians 10:13,” No temptation has seized you except what is common to man, And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

Our society has been so deceived into thinking our self worth lies in the physical attraction to others. Something beautiful, passionate, intimate and very special has been twisted into a sin that we’ve accepted as a “norm”. Sin has riddled this Earth to it’s core, but there is good news.

By God’s grace through His sacrifice of his Son, we are made new again. By accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior I was made new again for my husband.

2nd Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; old things have passed away; beyond, all things have become new.”

I’m not condemning you. I’m not judging you. I’m pleading with you so that you don’t make the same mistake that I have and that so many make.

Have a similar story to mine? I would love to hear it.

Love to all- Nicole

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A Day in the Life of a Farmer & his Wife.

Thank you all so much for taking a few minutes to complete my reader survey! Hopefully I’ll be able to tailor my writing to fit my audience a little more.

That being said, there was a request to do a “Day in the Life” during harvest for Andrew and I. Let me just say that this is pretty close to a daily occurrence during harvest. It may change a little, but nothing drastic.

4:45 AM —- My alarm goes off and I get In the shower and start to get ready for the day.

5:30 AM—- Andrew’s alarm goes off, and he gets up and makes us breakfast. Usually we each have 1
piece of bacon and 2 eggs each morning.

6 AM —- Andrew and I are both out the door to work. I head north to the big city for my town job, and he heads south to the farm.

6:15 AM —- Andrew starts to chore
for the hogs. I am still 45 minutes away from work. (I have a hour commute!)

7 AM —- Andrew finishes chores and I finally arrive to work. I text Andrew to let him know I made it and he responds with, “good babe, have a good day!” (He’s so sweet)

7AM to 5PM —- Andrew is doing various things around the farm. He happened to be combining today.

7AM to 4PM — I’m working my town job. During the day I do various things from processing invoices, planning my company’s attendance at some kind of show or expo and working with our social media.

4PM —- I get to drive an hour back home.

5PM— Andrew starts chores and I get home to start thinking about supper.

5PM to 6:30PM —- I’m making supper, doing laundry, going through mail,
checking my email, and trying to wind down. Andrew is doing chores during this time.

6:30PM— I get supper made, but unfortunately have to eat it by myself.
Andrew went back out to the field after chores. I’m what you call a harvest widow. I don’t really get to see a whole lot of my hubby during harvest.

7PM —- I do what dishes I can and attempt to keep Andrew’s supper warm… Then I watch tv or read until he gets home.

8PM —- Andrew finally arrives home and hops in the shower. I reheat his food and he chows down. For those of you that know Andrew… He literally chows down. I got lucky with a good eater :)

8:45PM —– Andrew finishes eating and I clean up the rest of the dishes.

8:50PM —– Andrew and I have recently started doing this and it has made a huge difference in our walk with Jesus. We started reading the Bible and talking over the Chapter right after supper, before the t.v.
comes on. Although the t.v. isn’t on much during harvest anyway.

9:05PM —— I get ready for bed with Andrew following suit.

9:15PM —– This part has also been monumental in our marriage. We pray together before we go to bed. We pray for each other, friends, relatives.. Pretty much whatever is laying heavy on our hearts.

9:25PM —– I usually never see this part of night because I fall asleep right after we pray. Good night!

4:45AM sure comes early again.

So this is what has been happening the last few nights anyway. It varies. Sometimes Andrew will get home around 7 and that’s nice so I at least get a few hours with him a day.

Let’s just say that I’m ready for harvest to be over with so I can get more time with Andrew. He promised to take me on a date as soon as harvest was done, so I’m so looking forward to that.

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What does your typical day look like?

Love to all- Nicole

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