God has been nudging me again.
I want to fight him so badly on this one. I want to recoil and ask,”But what will everyone think of me?” I mean..my family.. My grandparents read this blog. I will be so embarrassed…
I never would’ve thought in a million years I would be publicly talking about this. This is such a private part of anyone’s life, and a topic that is always avoided.
I give you permission to exit out of your browser. You might never come back to this blog again because I offended you. 3 years ago, I would’ve done those things. I would’ve closed out and said, “Eh, who cares… I’m going to do what I want”.
But for those of you that are open minded continue on.
I had pre-marital sex.
I was in high school and made horrible decisions. I was looking for any and all kinds of attention. I put my self worth in men’s physical attraction to me. It made me feel “loved” and wanted.
I didn’t know Jesus at this time of my life.
I didn’t know that Jesus held the ultimate love for me. I didn’t know that Jesus desired me and wanted me. He wanted me to follow him, to honor his Father.
I wish with all of my heart I could take my virginity back to the night I got married. I wish that Andrew could have all of me, but he can’t because I was selfish and gave part of me away to whom I had sex with.
In Mathew 19:4-6 it says that when a man leaves his parents and is joined with his wife that they become one flesh. Meaning.. When they get married. That’s when a man leaves his father and mother.
Notice how it doesn’t say when the man is still under his parents. That doesn’t mean literally, it means that he is not married yet. It doesn’t say, if you like a person a lot and are really close to this person, it’s okay to have sex. Sex in the Bible is continually talked about in relation to marriage.
Hebrews 13:4 says this, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the sexually immoral.”
1st Thessalonians 4;3-5, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality, that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable not in passionate lust like the heathen who do not know God.”
I was a heathen.. I did not know God. But now I do, and I’ve been forgiven by God’s grace for stealing from my husband. I stole part of me away from my husband that he couldn’t have all of me.
All of the “rules” that are listed in the Bible aren’t listed so that God can watch us fail time and time again to obey these rules. He established these guidelines to guard our hearts.
By having sex before marriage with someone I became “one” with them. I gave them a piece of me. A pastor once described it as this. We were both Velcro, and when we went our separate ways, my Velcro stuck with him and didn’t return with me.
I cheated my husband from having all of me. There are pieces of me missing from our relationship because I was selfish, insecure, and confused about love.
So you’re asking yourself now.. “Why should I listen to her?” I would’ve asked that same question. I probably would’ve closed the web page and never came back.
So here’s why…
God loves you so much that he puts these guidelines in front of us to guard our hearts. Sex was intended for marriage, and marriage only. He knows sex before marriage is messy. It creates a false sense of love. It makes things complicated. It creates a connection that is hard to be broken. It takes away a piece of you and you can’t ever get that piece back.
Imagine what it would be like if you remained a virgin your entire life until your wedding night? Imagine being able to give your spouse ALL of you, rather than just..
most like I did.
Imagine you waited and you were loved for all that you are, your quirks, your personality.. Every part of you. Imagine being so secure in that love that sex is a celebration of God and each other on your wedding night.
Here’s my plea for you. If you aren’t a Christian and don’t follow the Bible.. Consider waiting for your future spouse, that they might get the treat and honor of having all of you.
If you are a Christian and are fighting the temptation. Work hard and be diligent in The Lord. He offers the ultimate love. He offers these words of encouragement.
1st Corinthians 10:13,” No temptation has seized you except what is common to man, And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”
Our society has been so deceived into thinking our self worth lies in the physical attraction to others. Something beautiful, passionate, intimate and very special has been twisted into a sin that we’ve accepted as a “norm”. Sin has riddled this Earth to it’s core, but there is good news.
By God’s grace through His sacrifice of his Son, we are made new again. By accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior I was made new again for my husband.
2nd Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; old things have passed away; beyond, all things have become new.”
I’m not condemning you. I’m not judging you. I’m pleading with you so that you don’t make the same mistake that I have and that so many make.
Have a similar story to mine? I would love to hear it.
Love to all- Nicole